Life is a Temporary Condition

Aug 09
2010

(Warning: this is a depressing post!)

I watched a very thought-provoking movie last night with my wife. There were some very disturbing images in the movie of the holocaust and of various dead individuals, including children. The movie really grabbed at me and I was deep in tears several times throughout. There were scenes where a man finds his children all drowned in a lake (by their mother). He picks up each child in turn in disbelief. It was a gut wrenching scene that had me crying continuously. I wasn’t expecting such an intense film.

There were other images of the Death Train as found by the Americans at the liberation of the Dachau concentration camp. The movie showed train cars spilling out with dead bodies. It was horrifying. After watching the movie I retreated to my office and decided to just embrace the moment. I did this by doing further reading on the Dachau camp. The photographs were terrifying. However, this was not the first time I’ve seen ghastly images of the holocaust. I then watched a disturbing documentary of the “holocaust in color”. During a particular moment when describing the ghetto in Warsaw, the film showed color video of very young children starving to death on the sidewalk as others walked by. Some showed footage of what is assumed to be dead children there, on the sidewalk. Just laying there, waiting to be saved, waiting to be noticed, waiting to be helped. But for many help never came. A truly innocent life that should be exploring the wonders of the world instead dies on a side walk of hunger while others walk by pretending to not notice.

This filled me with so much emotion. It was overpowering. The documentary went on. It described the liberation of several concentration camps. Locals from the nearby villages were forced by Allied troops to tour the death camps to see the horrors that their towns hosted. The footage shows locals, well dressed and unassuming, walking past piles of bodies. The horror on their faces shows that they will never forget that day. These images will surely haunt these individuals until the day they die.

Everyone knows of the horrors of the holocaust. We all know that legions of people die disgraceful deaths everyday in all corners of our world. We also know that our own deaths are inevitable. Yet we are so successful in not thinking about this, on keeping death out of our minds and away from our hearts. We fill ourselves with life and the hope of the future, pretending as if death is some distant thing that need not worry us until it comes. How easy it is to forget that we will die! When I’m talking to some coworkers about some trivial topic, do any of us realize at that moment that we will die? That we could die any time, and from any cause? Not at all. We talk as if death is improbable. Too far away to be of any concern. It is as if death itself is the trivial topic.

As I tried to sleep last night, I was haunted by so many scenes of death in my mind. Scenes of my own death, scenes of the deaths of those I love. I imagined my family in situations as experienced by countless families around the world. Trapped by an earthquake like that experienced in Haiti recently; flood waters taking my son away as happened to so many in Pakistan recently; having my family murdered in genocide like what has occurred in Rwanda, Cambodia, Nazi Germany, and so many other places and times in history. I imagined all of the innocent children who have had to experience death. Slow deaths. While as a child my only concern was to have fun, other children all over the world were dying disgraceful deaths. And they continue to die. Every moment of every day.

I was filled with so much death, I became overwhelmed. My mind had reached a psychological limit upon which the only cure was to purge my mind to allow me to sleep. Death is a rabbit hole that never ends. The mind cannot comprehend the infiniteness, the completeness, and the inevitableness of death.

This was not my first meditation of death. This appears to be an occasional exercise for me, although unintentionally. The Haiti earthquake was another event that triggered these same meditations within myself. It is as if death occasionally comes knocking at our hearts, and asks us to stare it in the face. Daring us to stare at it for as long as we can muster.

Rarely do my beliefs in a beautiful and evolving universe seem inadequate. But when I think of my own child dying, my mind wants to find something more to the universe to justify it. My mind wants to find a loophole that will allow everything to be right again. I see why it is so easy for people to blindly follow their faiths, no matter how illogical. For without it, we must accept the maddening rabbit hole of death for what it is.

This may be a particularly morbid post. Most individuals (myself included) will typically do what they can to stay upbeat and avoid depressing topics. But it is OK to occasionally remind ourselves of our love for our fellow human beings. To feel connected to each other through the unbreakable camaraderie we all experience through death. Thousands of nameless people die everyday. Take a moment to acknowledge them, in hopes that some day somebody will acknowledge you.

Getting Cleaned Up

Jul 27
2010

Baby steps, people. Baby steps. Today we are going to talk about hygiene.

I know. I know. You shower every day AND you brush your teeth. You even make sure to wash your hands after a disgusting and smelly #2. But hygiene doesn’t stop there, folks. Join me as I take a deeper look into this incredibly boring topic.

Tell me, when was the last time you got up a little too late for work and stumbled out of bed to find to your horror that all of your favorite clothes are in the dirty laundry? You look and you look, but slowly you allow yourself to come to the realization that you are doomed. The wardrobe you have left you wouldn’t even wear on Halloween. That is unless you are the type to spend Halloweens passed out drunk behind an adult film store cleverly utilizing duct tape for shoes.

Yet you still need to pick something out, and the clock is ticking. Your boss will really kick your ass this time for being late. The clothes you have to choose from aren’t dirty, but they certainly make you feel dirty when you put them on. These ugly articles are your shame.  You force yourself to put on something that is the least evil possible and try to ignore the fact for the rest of the day.

You know what comes next.  You try to ignore it, but you can’t. You simply feel more self-conscience. You are less likely to allow yourself to be in the spotlight. You shy away from people that you want to impress, hoping they won’t notice that you are dressed like MC Hammer. Your smile isn’t as bright as normal, and your jokes just aren’t as funny. You feel yourself shrinking.

Am I being dramatic?  I don’t know. You tell me.

But what about Superman? Does he ever have problems with self-confidence? Of course. Even the man of steel doubts himself at times. But I doubt he’d ever shy away from saving somebody because he happens to be dressed like Richard Simmons. I can’t save that poor woman from those crazed libertarians, look at what I’m wearing! But much more importantly, Superman would never dress like Richard Simmons in the first place.

So, let me conjecture that if we wish to be superman we’ve got to feel like superman. How would Superman behave if he didn’t think of himself as Superman? That question is much deeper than you actually realize, so go back and read it again. Now read it again, but this time read it backwards. Hah! I’m just fucking with you now.

Seriously though, on my path to finding the secrets of success I need to look and feel my best each day. If I don’t, then I’ve already failed… before I’ve even left the house. So each morning I’ve got to make sure I look my best. This isn’t to impress others. It is much deeper than that. Looking our best symbolizes our commitment to ourselves to be the best we can be. If that doesn’t motivate you, then think of this:

There are dogs in this world that are better groomed than you.

Don’t believe me? Go to a dog show and you’ll see that I’m not joking. And if you can say this out loud to yourself and believe it, then I think you will start to come to see what I’m trying to tell you. Hygiene is a measure of love. Do you love yourself enough to look your best tomorrow? I think I do. So join me!

It’s on!

Will the real over-worked parent, please stand up?

Jul 25
2010

Raise your hands if you’ve got kids. OK, now if you’ve got kids that still live with you, keep that hand up. You’ve also got a full time job, you have started (or want to start) a side business, and you have a million social events that people want you to attend. Still have your hand up? Well, then let’s keep going!! You have dozens of house projects that you need to get around to, hundreds of books on your “to read” list, about ten movies that everyone tells you is a must see in theaters right now. You generously give time to your spouse/partner to keep things healthy, and you give every spare moment you have (or don’t have) to your children.  Oh, and you also want to try to squeeze in some exercise here and there and maybe, if you are lucky, some sleep.

STILL have your hand up?

GOOD!! Then you and I have lots to talk about! The rest of you lazy nobodies can go away.

Now that we’ve weeded out all of the lucky people, let’s talk about what it is we all really really want to know:

HOW IN THE HELL DO WE DO ALL OF THIS SH*T ?!?!

I will now stop talking to you as if you are sitting directly in front of me. After all, this is a blog not a seminar. A seminar suggests that the speaker has a clue of what he is talking about. I sure the hell don’t. But don’t leave just yet! I think that together we can find some answers. They won’t come easy. They won’t be obvious. But we will persevere! After all, judging from the paragraphs above, you and I are quite used to persevering, correct?

OK, so what exactly are you trying to find the answers to? Why should I care?

Ah, great question!  I want to unlock the secrets of success, of course.  And I want you to come with me.  If you are saying to yourself,”What a load of crap, well then you are stupid entitled to that opinion. I WILL find the secrets of success. I will form new habits and break old habits. I will get the junk out of my trunk. (And by “trunk”, I mean my brain… not my butt. I’ve got nothing to say about my butt. Other than it is really really quite hairy.) I will conquer the things that need to get done, and I will fulfill my dreams (within reason and the limits of what is physically possible, of course.)  And best of all, I’m going to blog every minute of it.

You do realize that “success” is subjective.  It is whatever you define it to be.

Duh!  I know that.  But I’m obviously referring to a really really hard type of success.  Jeez!  In short, picture in your mind an image of superman.  That’s me, bitch.

What makes you think that this is possible?

Your skepticism is natural.  But really the evidence is everywhere.  The greatest contributors to science, art, politics, technology, and humanity in general learned these secrets and put them into practice. These people had families, they had jobs, they had friends and homes, books to read, and blogs to write. Er, um, books to write. I’m the dumbass writing the blog. Yet, even with these busy schedules, they still managed to CHANGE THE ENTIRE WORLD in their spare time.

Are you seriously comparing yourself to some of the greatest minds in human history?

Of course not.  I am just a dumbass writing a blog!  (Actually, I think I’ll acronymize that to: IAJADWAB.) I don’t want to change the world in my spare time.  I just want what each of you want: success. And if you are anything like me, you are very hard on yourself when it comes to defining success and that very first paragraph that you read in this blog doesn’t even begin to describe all of the things you want to do.  Are we doomed to have our full potential defined and limited by our day jobs? Not me. Not this guy.

I challenge you: Let’s take our current lives and magnify them by x100. I know that sounds impossible. But I believe we can do it.  Over this next year, I am going to challenge myself to tackle life.  I will blog about what I try that works, and I will blog about when and how I fail.  Anytime I catch myself saying “I don’t have time for that.” or “I wish I could do this.” I am going to stop myself and instead say: “It’s on.”

So what do you say?  Join me in this not so epic journey of self-realization.  I want to hear each of you say: It’s on.

Well, I’d hear you if this were a seminar.

First thing’s first: Let’s Get Cleaned Up →